Friday, April 29, 2011

Obama's Birth Certificate

I can think of no more disgusting act in American political culture of recent times than the President of the United States being pressured into finally showing us all his birth certificate. People say, "Why didn't he just do it years ago and put it to rest?" Here's why: because he owes you nothing. Donald Trump is very proud of himself (his words) for making the President finally put this "controversy" to rest. All Donald Trump has done is help torpedo the standards of American decency, brain capacity, and acceptability to unheard of lows. Congratulations, sheep head. The truth is that nothing could be more undignified, insulting, un-presidential for the office of President, than to pander to these baseless assholes by giving them what they deem necessary. Period.

Of course, considering the true colors of American brain function were being exposed to include much more jello and pig vomit than most people might have thought possible in 2011, Obama's back was obviously to the wall. How are you going to talk about Global Economic issues, unemployment, the difficulties of dealing with oil prices, troubling nations, and radical movements across the world, when over half of your opposing constituency in Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Texas, and North Carolina believe that you are a Muslim terrorist, who fought for the rebel army of Kenya in Stalin's Indonesia, in an attempt to free your people from the surrounding rings of Saturn? How are you supposed to talk to these people like an adult? Like all people with an IQ in triple digits, I was looking forward to the day when this controversy would go away. Maybe Barack Obama would use it to his own advantage, avoiding the question while the little puke Trump's campaign (what's with the shape of his mouth when he talks, anyway?) grew to feverish pitches, only for Obama to suddenly unveil the certificate during the 3rd Presidential debate, a pair of spotlights shining down on the 1961 Governor of Hawaii and the delivery doctor, both sitting idly in the front row. Yes, I wanted this to go away, but I had mixed feelings about the president stooping to this unheard of level of moronic tide in order to do it. And now I feel like I need to take a shower. People claim the race card is overused, and often times it certainly is. I am afraid that this has little do do with anything, though, other than race.

For starters, why did Barack Obama have to show us his birth certificate? Clinton didn't have to. Nixon didn't have to. Eisenhower never had to. George Bush wasn't pressed to show us his high school diploma. John McCain was never going to be made to show us his birth certificate - and his birth on US soil involves a much more precarious set of circumstances than Obama's (even while it is clear that he is in fact a naturalized citizen). Now that it's done, for Obama to show us his birth certificate is for the half black guy with a funny name, with a father from a country most of us know little about, being forced to say, "Here is the extra proof you need to know that I am legitimate for this position. So we're cool?". Why didn't he do it before? Jackie Robinson was given a directive to not reply to racists for 2 years when he joined Major League Baseball. In 1947. 64 years later, why is it acceptable for the President of The United States to have to throw a bone to the same segment of society - 2 or 3 generations on - to allow himself the privilege of being allowed to continue to be their elected representative, when there are no credible facts to the contrary? Well it was possible? The best anyone could come up with was that without the long form birth certificate, anything could be possible, so here are some theories. Well gall darn, I suppose so. Half black, Kenya, Hussein, liberal...with Mitt Romney's health care plan, income tax rates 2/3 the level of Reagan's, and with a former radical Christian minister...obviously an illegitimate Muslim socialist.

The whole rumor initially took off with Orly Taitz - a classic certifiable looney ("...Anyone with an average IQ - 60 - could understand what I'm talking about..."). She got busted trying to produce a phoney Kenyan Obama birth certificate, one that actually had the name of the country wrong - woops - and was fined by the US Supreme Court for wasting their time on it. Four of the movement's biggest mainstream propagators have been Glenn Beck - a guy who in an interview bragged about his lack of education, how, "When i was a kid I saw a guy on TV and thought, 'Wouldn't that be cool!'" - Sharron Angle, who told a group of Asian student that hey, sometimes she got mistaken for Asian while growing up, too...

Sharon Angle

...Michelle Bachmann, and of course Rush Limbaugh, whose fat ass was outraged when Michelle Obama tried to promote healthy eating for kids, because, "she doesn't exactly look like a model."

Let's say you hate Barack Obama. Say you hate him because he chooses to spend on more domestic programs than you deem necessary. Say you...like health care just the way it was. Say you think he's annoying, too into himself, not as funny as he thinks he is, that he came into office unproven, that he rode a wave that had more to do with George Bush, and feeling good about ourselves again, than it did about him being a good leader. Say you disagree with both his foreign policy initiatives and the way he reacts to unforseen conflicts in other nations. Say you don't like him, and say you want him to go down in flames in 2012.

I know you. I know these people. I live in Tennessee, and I know I have friends very dear to me who can't stand the man. That's fine, I accept this. I enjoy debate and I enjoy the "clash of ideas" to further deepen one's position. It's necessary, and without it there is no America. I ask why, though, you choose to sell out not your opinions, but your intelligence. Embarrass yourself. Embarrass the country. You can make political arguments. You can vote. You can get your friends to vote. But you can't take back this wave of paranoia and racism you rode on. You can't take it back, and you should be ashamed. No-one should have to prove their legitimacy in the face of such empty allegation, brought on by people who clearly have agendas of their own. Those people know what they are doing. Newt Gingrich - he knows the president is an American. Romney - he knows. John McCain chose not to lower himself to this. Pawlenty, Barbour, maybe even Huckabee - they all know. You were played. You have cheapened America, cheapened the dignity of the office of US President, cheapened the racial progress we so champion, and now we all have to take a shower and move on.

Shame on you.

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